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Please note that all dialogue is under United States
Copyright protection.
Caesar and Dada
A play in two acts by Allyson Currin
2 women, 4 men
Synopsis:
Critically and popularly-acclaimed director Franz Lichter is the dictatorial impresario of Theatre for Truth in post-World War I Zurich, at the vanguard of realism onstage. But when the sunshine-y and ambitious American actress Lily Brick arrives on the scene, Franz's traditional production of Julius Caesar begins to veer dangerously into the realm of that strange new art movement, Dada.
FRANZ
Blood and piss!
DOMINIC (not turning to see)
Ah! Franz!
(He turns to address Franz) I would like to introduce you to the wonderful talent I was speaking of only the other day –
FRANZ (picking up papers)
Goddammit, shut up, that's the latest cut all over the floor there – pick it up, pick it up!
DOMINIC
Yes, Franz! Sorry, Franz!
FRANZ
Blast and damn! Give me that!
DOMINIC
But this young woman is possibly the most talented –
FRANZ
What?
DOMINIC
Her talent–
FRANZ
What?
DOMINIC
It's – her talent –
FRANZ
What talent? What the fuck are you talking about?
DOMINIC
A Portia for you!
FRANZ
Oh, Christ on a cross...
DOMINIC
Finally a Portia who can carry the scene! May I introduce Miss Lily Brik!
Franz hasn't even looked at Lily.
FRANZ
She's too young.
DOMINIC
No, but –
FRANZ
Must I spell it out for you yet again?
We have all seen the final fate of tribal law, Athenian democracy, and constitutional monarchy. The only system that works in a theatre company is absolute dictatorship!
DOMINIC
Yes, and we've done well under your –
FRANZ
Under my what? UNDER MY WHAT?
DOMINIC
Reign! Your reign!
FRANZ
And reign it is!
Every artistic achievement we have attained has been directly linked to my control of this company. If I spent time watching auditions from every tart you happen to be fucking –
LILY
I beg your pardon!
DOMINIC
Oh, no, my sweet, it's not –
FRANZ (overlapping)
Then how in the bloody hell would the sets get built?
DOMINIC
He does not mean –
FRANZ
The actors get paid?
DOMINIC
I apologize –
FRANZ
How would the fat bourgeois asses you love to criticize end up in those seats?
Since the Middle Ages, actors have been trying to rise ever so slightly above the rank of prostitute.
Why, why, why, must you dishonor hundreds of years of their attempts to elevate themselves by bringing in another one of your tramps to darken these boards?
(Beat) I am done here.
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