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Please note that all dialogue is under United States Copyright protection.

Fur and Other Dangers*
A comedy about cats in two acts, by Allyson Currin
*Recipient of the Washington Theatre Festival’s Pat Murphy Sheehy New Play Development Award
5 actors (any gender), unit set

All Veve wants is a perfect little house with carport and a salmon-colored living room sofa – and NO CATS. But with her activist-husband and misfit daughter as certified cat-lovers, Veve finds her life one endless parade of feline pets – complicated by the fact that she’s the only one who can hear what they’re really saying! In this scene, her husband Jim has just brought home a new kitten (Poop Jones), one who’s a little rough around the edges…

Look what I found wandering around the garbage bins at the library!

Are you trying to kill me!?!?!?!?!

He’ll live outside. Hasn’t had a square meal in weeks, I’ll bet. He sure gobbled up that pimento cheese sandwich. Poor sweet thing. Come closer, honey, he won’t bite.


I can’t!

Why not? He’s a little darling aren’t you? Boody, boody, boody, boody, boody, boo!
Aren’t you just?

Poop purrs and looks pathetic.

He’s staring at me.

He’s hungry, Veve.

I want that thing out of this house!

All right, all right. Maybe Hank’ll take him in. It was worth a try.

POOP (as Jim and Poop exit)
Mother-fucking, cock-sucking bitch fuckin’ with my chances for the good life! I’m gonna be sprayin’ your roses tonight, fuckin’ candy-ass bitch! Don’t THINK that you can fuck with Poop Jones and get away with it! Goddamn Bible Belt establishment bullshit…

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